Is it weird my pre-teen wants to go outside and be a mallrat?
One of the things I think I parented right was starting our Kiddo(11) late on screentime and online gaming in general, and then limiting it. He developed many hobbies and interests offline before he developed a taste for doomscrolling. When out, he likes integrating himself with other kids instead of choosing the screen. He is still up to date with the internet memes and latest roblox/minecraft things, but he can also go an entire weekend digging a hole outside or drawing an entire comic series. In other words, he found the balance that any chronically online adult wishes they had (I may be talking about myself).
Now, he is at that natural point in life when he wants to go out on his own. So he does sometimes in the neighbourhood. When he feels like it, he brings me back snacks.
The other day during an ice cream trip, he got shat on by a bird, at which I comforted him with a “Well, just proof you went out and touched some grass”
Unfortunately, his friends don't live nearby, and our specific area of the neighbourhood is mostly boomers and no kids. We live in a compact city area where biking through the busy streets is not an option just yet, so they rely on parents to commute them around. As much as hanging out at people’s houses can be fun, the kids yearn for the real world.
An idea came about within the friend group: Hey, let’s meet at the nearest mall and just chill there. Some of the friends live within walking distance, and the other parents said, "Alright."
But when I told other people about Kiddo’s trips to the store down the street and his recent mallrat adventures, they thought I was crazy because he’s just too young to be out by themselves.
As a 90s kid myself, I thought these were perfectly normal. If anything, I don’t think they are getting the same freedom we did back in the day, since they are only doing this every other weekend. My parents barely knew where I was between 4pm-7pm every single day, as long as my homework was done and I didn’t scrape my knees or break any bones (again).
Yes, it is a different world, but does it really mean we have to shelter them? I know where they are (hello, family link), what they are buying (hello, family card), and who they are out with (hello, everyone’s parents on WhatsApp).
What the kids really want is connection. Somewhere along the years, we started keeping them inside a lot more and gave them more screentime. They found temporary solace in Roblox chatrooms and on social media. And then it’s taken away from them because, guess what, stranger danger. That’s valid (except for the part where the under-16 social media ban is clearly a reason to collect personal information, but I digress).
But where is their third space?
Release the children back into the wild.